Disclaimer: This post is definitely not about PDA. And this is not a Valentine’s Day Special post.
When was the last time you told someone you loved them? When was the last time you said the words and actually meant them? There are a lot of things that influence the love we feel towards someone, and even more factors that influence the way we express them. In the day of internet and mobiles where actual communication has taken a back seat (it has no doubt) and emojis rule text conversations, it is harder to actually mean something we say, and have it interpreted the right way in the other end.
Expressing love is a tricky thing to do – and each person has their own of doing it. Some people prefer to say it out loud, day by day, every day. Some others prefer to show it in their actions instead of saying it in words. There are people who show their love by cute gestures and pampering. But the ultimate goal of all this is to make sure that the receiver feels loved. The dynamic of what works between two people is something only they can work out, but the ultimate goal remains similar in all cases.
In a world where everything is a half-hearted attempt, be it in the jobs or the monotonous daily routine, it is hard to attach an emotion to everything one does. It is harder still to express the emotion. Many times, the hesitation is more about the acceptance or the reception one might expect. The doubts about whether or not the approach might be preferred, often make us pull back.
Is there a logic behind the hesitation and a reason for doubt? Is there something that makes us uncomfortable about feeling something and expressing it? The most common (and acceptable) explanation is that, we’d rather keep the emotions in check than say it out loud and be ridiculed / teased or rejected. There is this innate need to safeguard oneself from embarrassment and this makes people spend life with half-hearted attempts and concealed emotions.
Finding a frequency that connects two people together is not an easy thing to do. But once that connection is made, be it in a romantic relationship or a friendship, it is essential not to hold back and do things feebly. Life is too short to be spent with doubts, hesitation and confusion. The hesitation indirectly leads to doubts and manipulative games, and a general feeling of dissatisfaction.
If you like someone, express it openly. If you love someone, make sure the target of your affection knows it! What is the point in feeling something half-heartedly and refraining from expressing it? The comfort levels between two people are defined by the mutual interest they share, and the bonding is born out of understanding more than other external factors.
But following Khalil Ghibran’s philosophy, a lot of love is lost if not expressed. Expressing love can be done in any way – the only constraint should be the acceptance from the other person. There are many ways to do it, and finding what works is one of the first things one must do. The number of years put into a relationship does not matter. What actually matters is the connection that exists between the people. Friendships that have lasted years might be polite acquaintances and friendships barely weeks old might become soul based connections.
Life is simple if the expressions are honest and the emotions are true. A lot of energy is required to fake an emotion or hold back a feeling, and a lot more is required to hold back what one feels. Feelings are supposed to be felt, and expressed. Much like one would not like a low voltage current, or a bland soup, intentionally making life bland by refusing to feel and express is a disservice to a life that is meant to wholesome and expressive!
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