Blogging 2017

Absence and fondness!

Perhaps one of the most flummoxing questions in today’s world is whether absence really does make the heart grow fonder.

The ideal, obviously perfect answer would be, of course, yes!

The realistic, actual answer is far removed from that. Sometimes, in some relationships, absence is not the best of the things that could befall the connection. There are multiple arguments about how the answer to that conundrum lies in the strength of the relationship. The strong relationships, they say, only grow fonder in absence. The weaker ones peter out, fading with every passing minute and finally ceasing to matter or exist.

But when asked what defines a ‘strong’ relationship, there are no concrete answers. The idealistic views of perfection and understanding often cross with the realistic practical and human emotions. Any relationship that does not stand the test of time/distance is considered in some way lesser and not up to the mark. People are quick to pounce on the weak points in the relationship and associate the growing chasm to the inability to be physically present during each other’s defining moments.

The curse of every relationship are the emotionally weak moments that humans are prone to have. There come moments in every relationship where there is an ultimate need for emotional closeness, a void which no one other than a single person can fill. It is at these moments that there is a search for that one person we can depend upon, and it is exactly at those moments when the absence is felt more strongly than ever.

And the outcome of these moments can be either the making or breaking point, often deciding the strength of friendships and relationships. Like all negative emotions, absence also creates a dark void where all other negative feelings take place, and this is the defining moment where an individual has to fight his or her own battle, emerging stronger amidst all the chaos.

Emotional support and dependency often transcend the mere constraints of geographical distance and can come from the unexpected quarters, but when the source of the support is different from the place in which it is searched for, there is a risk of the heart finding another outlet, making the initial absence pain less. During no other time is the restraint as necessary as during those trying times.

Even with no other outlet, the absence might do one of two things. It can make the heart immune to all the negative emotions, and in some cases the people themselves become indifferent to the presence of someone who was once their world.

There is a paradigm shift for a soul who has faced adversities alone. Solitude is experienced at its purest form and the soul would no longer settle for anything else. It is in cases like this that absence only shows that life need not be consumed by one person, and can instead by lived alone. Absence finally means the lifetime lesson that no single person can define one’s life, and the heart rebuilds itself from scratch.

For such people, the absence of an emotional crutch (especially one who was very close) finally teaches that the walk can happen without the crutch. Absence teaches one the ability to live alone, and once the soul experiences that, every long absence is termed as yet another phase of life and there is a supreme indifference when people drift apart.

Absence and fondness are related by a gossamer thread that is constantly on the lookout for chances to break, however differently the idealists might feel.


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