This post is more of a eulogy than anything else. Death and loss are painful no matter how sudden or prolonged they are. This particular one was so strong in the pain it inflicted, the loss of a dear uncle. More than being what his stature determined, he was first a friend, a confidante and the person I’d turn to when I needed advice and heavy life philosophies.
The purpose of recording this goes against my norm, for I prefer to permanently etch only the happy memories and never the sad ones. But mourning is as much a part of life as celebrations are. And there is no intention to numb the pain, only to feel it twice harder later on. While a happy memory is good for reminiscing, a sad memory is good for clearing emotional leftovers.
The best thing we could do to a memory of the loved ones who left us is to live our life in a way that would make them proud of us. Reflecting on the transient nature of life puts things in perspective, often making one wonder about the insignificance of mundane everyday activities. Living on is the biggest form of human courage and resilience, and that is the biggest lesson any death could give us – that life goes on.
In the memory of one of the best men I’ve ever known…
I will meet you one day
On the other side of the stars
The dusky twilight that took you away
Has turned into mornings, many times over
But the echo of your laughter
Is still heard across time
From those days when you carried
The little me on your tired shoulders
I wish I could turn the clock back
To the days you’d bribe me
The chocolates and toys appearing,
Magically erasing my faux tears
As I looked up at your benevolent face
Aspiring to be you, when I grew up
A pilot, I said, when you brought me a toy plane
A doctor, I said, when you gave me the plastic steth
A lawyer, I said, walking around in your black coat
An engineer, I said, seeing your drafter scales.
A good human, you’d say, smiling at me
Always be that first. The rest comes after!
Whatever I am, wherever I go
A part of you, always follows
In my prayers, I will see you
In my wishes, I will remember you
In wanting to turn to you – to share
All the news, both good and bad
May your voice have the power,
To reach me across the void
For behind the veil you have gone
One way on to never return
The photos do you no justice
Your laughter oh so dimmed
The tears that are still undried
Would one day cease to come
Including your name, your memory
Will decrease in frequency
The pain will numb, will reduce
Our wounds would scab, would heal
But the memories will linger,
Only you, conspicuous by absence.
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