The Giver is also the Forgiver, and Kodhai knew that her love towards Him was a product of all the stories she had heard, of all the grandeur she had been told about.
But if asked to point out one particular quality, she would find it hard, indeed, to do so. How was she to find one thing she liked the most out of all the things that she wanted to love?
When she thought of the strong surety of His love that cocooned her, she was filled with happiness so complete, that it did not seek any other outlet, or additional compromises.
To her, He was the one and only.
And to lead everyone unto Him was all that she had always wanted to do. Always needed, too.
If one were to speak of generosity, maybe then, and only then, He was probably at fault, pouring His love and grace on everyone equally, whether or not they deserved it.
Like the bloated cow’s udders that could not contain the milk they wanted to bless the world with, His blessings split asunder, not caring who it poured on.
Those who sought it, though, were those who were aware of it, and could catch the magnitude of what it meant to be the benefactor of the Paramaatma.
The longing she has always known was towards her perception of Him, and she had forever associated His name with the versions and stories others told. This was perhaps why her urge to seek him was doubled in recent times.
She wanted answers, and she preferred them to be on her own terms.
She sought blessings, and she strived to be deserving of them.
She yearned to see Him, and she had to do it by herself, too.
The compulsion one felt for love ignited the urge to seek, to search, and to grasp, even if they were wisps of smoke or pillars of iron. The only place where the destination was the only worthwhile thing, and the means – the journey – was just something one chose as one’s preferred path depending upon one’s interests.
The bhakthi maargam then, was her father’s.
Kodhai knew she had a different way, the one that will lead others around her to salvation too. What she sought was infinite, limitless. And so it shall shower on all that had been waiting, parched.
ஏற்ற கலங்கள் எதிர்பொங்கி மீதளிப்ப
மாற்றாதே பால்சொரியும் வள்ளல் பெரும்பசுக்கள்
ஆற்றப் படைத்தான் மகனே அறிவுறாய்!
ஊற்ற முடையாய்! பெரியாய்! உலகினில்
தோற்ற மாய்நின்ற சுடரே! துயிலெழாய்
மாற்றார் உனக்கு வலிதொலைந்துன் வாசற்கண்
ஆற்றாது வந்துன் அடிபணியு மாபோலே
போற்றியாம் வந்தோம் புகழ்ந்தேலோ ரெம்பாவாய்.
eeTRa kalangkaL ethirpongi miithaLippa
maaTRaathee paalsoriyum vaLLal perumpasukkaL
aaTRap pataiththaan makanee aRivuRaay!
uuTRa mutaiyaay! periyaay! ulakinil
thooTRa maayninRa sudaree! thuyilezhaay
maaTRaar unakku valihtolainthun vaasaRkaN
aaTRaathu vandhun adipaNiyu maapoolee
pooTRiyaam vanthoom pukazhndhelo rembaavaay.